I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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