i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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