Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
