you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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