She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
