what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
