how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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