So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I can't turn off my feet"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
