its not stalking. its research.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
