she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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