Porn is love you can see.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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