just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
