even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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