Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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