Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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