I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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