best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
