i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
