grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
