Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
