shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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