you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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