I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
