you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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