Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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