I wish I only lived at night.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize