I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
well you can't waste a boner
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
