D3 body, D1 cock
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
