I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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