they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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