I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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