I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
