just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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