she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
