you're like a bully in the Christmas story
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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