I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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