Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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