laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
false alarm, still single
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
