Christians are straight up FREAKS
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You ruined the universe
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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