One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
