Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
