i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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