So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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