thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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