I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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