I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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