There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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