Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
