She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I've blown a few things in my day
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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