What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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