he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
How does one acquire holy water?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
