He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
