So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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