i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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