mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
