sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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