So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
