when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
