If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
