i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
