Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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