I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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