That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I have post one night stand depression
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