Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
