I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
