dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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