What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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