I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
