I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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