Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
