Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
