I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Acid is not a monday night drug
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
