who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
