All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
