this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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