I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
