come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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