if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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