end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
