yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
