Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
