Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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