oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
